Many years ago, when I was taking allergy shots two or three times a week, my doctor was somewhat perplexed when I complained that his “express hour” for patients coming in for a quick shot was false advertising. In fact, he was taking in patients for exams during that time and leaving “express” patients waiting for up to an hour for their shots. My time was precious back then, working in Manhattan, commuting by train 3 hours a day, then driving to his office before a late dinner.
One night I finally complained strongly to his nurse. I was ushered in to see him soon thereafter. He looked at me in amazement. For months I had been just another express patient who exchanged pleasantries while he jabbed my arm. Now, he felt compelled to tell me “You Italians have quick tempers” or something to that effect. How I became his “Italian” patient surprised me but I told him that my wasted time, not my ethnicity, had set me off. That was my last visit.
I’ll admit to losing patience with people now and then. A few days ago I went ballistic on a lady who unleashed her dog while talking to my neighbor. I live on a very scenic street that runs along a beautiful harbor attracting dog-walkers every hour of the day. Bushes and lawns are subject to constant defilement. Her dog promptly walked onto my lawn and took a dump, out of sight of the owner. If I hadn’t seen it, the owner would have been blissfully ignorant and the poop consigned to me.
Are Italians the only people who would react to such provocations? I recall a training film at Guardian Life Insurance many years ago in which one of the film’s characters – an executive who had to deal with some internal issue – exclaimed to another executive that he didn’t want to “lose my Italian temper.” It had no relevance to the film’s purpose, but it conveyed the message to Guardian employees that Italians had special tempers. Guardian was my client at the time, so I didn’t lose my Italian temper when I saw it.
This week we saw first-hand an example of the “Chinese temper” when House Speaker Nancy Pelosi paid a visit to Taiwan. That 82-year-old Italian American lady knows how to push people’s buttons, as Donald Trump can attest. The whole Chinese Communist Party laced into our octogenarian provocateur. Threats to shoot down her plane before it landed, and an actual military encirclement of Taiwan is still taking place. Like Helen of Troy, Pelosi launched a thousand [Chinese] ships. President Xi Jinping is apoplectic and the old lady did it without Malarkey Joe’s approval or blessing – the same Biden who wanted to “meet” Trump “behind the gym”. Nancy’s got spunk, Biden’s got hot air. The fall-out from Pelosi’s Taiwan trip is one-sided: Xi is walking out of Climate talks, Biden’s sole mission in life.
Maybe we should see some Irish temper from Mr. Biden. Where are the transcripts of his last telephone showdown with Xi Jinping when the Communist leader warned Biden about “playing with fire”? (Suddenly, presidential transcripts are not important.) How about Xi playing with Covid, allowing flights out of Wuhan to the West but not to the rest of China in 2020? Has Biden ever vented about that with Xi? If Xi didn’t want Pelosi to visit Taiwan, Biden could have suggested that 300,000 Chinese student visas in the U.S. might also be at risk. That’s not World War III talk, just quid pro quo – the negative version! Where are the “Fightin’ Irish” when you need them?
Speaking of which, how about our politically correct General Mark Milley, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs? The guy who thought Donald Trump lost his marbles on January 6th and famously broke the chain of command to call his Red Chinese military counterpart to reassure him that any Trump order would be disobeyed. Wonder if Milley got a “courtesy” call from that Chinese general to say Pelosi’s plane would not be shot down? I’d be pissed if my Chinese “buddy” didn’t reciprocate assurances. Maybe General Milley hasn’t got an Irish temper either.
There are times to hold your tongue and times to vent. My Italian temper is just fine, thank you. -JLM
It’s always very challenging to pick your battles as we age. As a person who works scrupulously to defend my ideals, I will explode if a miscreant tramples on them. To borrow from a motion picture not beloved in these quarters, I usually apply my “olive oil charm” to battle most obstacles.
Bravo! No one should suffer fools gladly, and only fools think Italians are more temperamental by reason of being Italian. I suppose it’s just another cultural indignity resulting from ethnic stereotyping. When Italian American DNA is no longer predominantly Italian, will the mere existence of an Italian surname trigger this insult? Probably, at least until such time as no one reflexively associates Italians with mobsters or persons naturally prone to emotional outbursts. Probably not in my lifetime.
These are always “cheap shots”, and they come out of left field, and that’s why they kind of resonate.. What does anyone’s ethnicity have to do with the issue at hand? I can deal with the matter but not when it is prefaced by that comment because it already discounts your issue. Its amazing how by just dropping a vowel in your family name can change perceptions, and I might add opportunities. We all have these stories, but a friend I worked with’s name was Moran, but in reality, was Morenzzano. he was spared the ethnic jokes and one-liners that was for sure. And of course, married names bring a whole other dynamic, which can lead into some awkward situations.
Temper is not the only bizarre stereotype on Italians.
I am tall, pale and with blue eyes. People in the US are often surprised that I am Italian. Back home, in the South of Italy, nobody has ever told me I do not look Italian.
Some Americans picture all Italian as men short with dark complexion. I guess this is how Italian men are portrayed in Hollywood movies. And yet, there are many famous real Italians with blue eyes, like Frank Sinatra, Di Caprio, Alexandra Daddario, Veronica Ciccone, Ron DeSantis, etc. There are also famous huge Italians like Lou Ferrigno and Hulk Hogan (Bollea).
I guess this can be explained with the fact that the media does not usually identity positive real Italians as Italian. I think Bill wrote an article on a recent interview to Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga where their being Italian was not mentioned at all.
Only negative fictional and real (if any) characters are clearly identified as Italian.
The only time Italian American ethnicity is a “positive” is via food. That’s it. And even that is now taking a beating with the new cable series The Bear, about a top-line Italian chef who returns to Chicago to run his family’s tacky Italian beef place.
I wrote a two-part story for Italic Way Magazine ten years ago titled, “Funny, They Don’t Look Italian, ” using celebrity examples. It speaks to the perception issue:
https://italic.org/wp-content/ResearchLibrary/ItalicWay/Editions/ItalicWay2011XXXVI.pdf